No nonsense guide to living better (Part 1): Habits
There are only 3 things that affect your outcomes in life.
- Luck
- Decisions
- Habits
You can’t control luck. There’s just an inherent amount of randomness that’s unavoidable. So that leaves us with decisions and habits.
It’s important to make good decisions. You can do that by building a framework of mental models - curating useful concepts and creating a deep understanding so that you can apply them to decision making. Here are some that I’ve collected: mental models. Decisions are like forks in the road that are loaded with potential energy. They set the overall trajectory, primed to fire in a certain direction, but your final outcome is dependent on the other thing within your control, your daily actions or habits.
Let’s be real here, you’ve probably wanted to start a number of things in your life (gym, reading, eating healthy etc), but you’ve failed 90% of the time. This is because you’ve simply “made a decision” to do something, without a proper system in place to get there.
So before you learn about improving your physical health and mental ability, you need to learn this critical meta-skill. There’s no point learning about the other stuff you aren’t able to incorporate them into your life meaningfully.
Build habits not goals
Goals are good but overrated. They help you set the direction. Habits actually get you there. What you need is a system, or a collection of habits, to change your life.
Learning how to create habits is one of the highest ROI skills you can learn. It’s basically learning how to learn, so what could possibly have higher leverage than that?
The only long lasting and positive changes I’ve ever made in life have been a result of creating habits and systems. They form the majority of your daily decisions and actions - your life is literally the sum of all your habits.
Here are 6 key steps:
1) Incorporate it into a routine
You don’t really contemplate if you have to brush your teeth every morning. You just do it. It’s part of your unconscious routine, which means it takes little to no cognitive effort or willpower. Wake up, brush teeth, get coffee, do X. Whatever X may be. That’s where you want to get to eventually. It’s the only way something will remain sustainable.
2) Create triggers and make it obvious
Want to start morning journaling? Leave your notepad on top of your laptop. Want to start playing guitar? Take it out of its case and place it in the middle of your room. Engineer your environment so that remembering to do the action is effortless.
3) Take small steps and make the action easy
Meditation is hard? Don’t start with 10 mins. It’s an unbearable eternity for someone who has never tried paying attention to their thoughts in their entire life. Start with 30 seconds. Too hard? Try one, full deep breath a day. Be completely focused on that breath, if you find yourself distracted, do it again. Break down a habit into its most simple, effortless component. Do the minimum viable amount rather than something unachievable.
4) Do it every single day for 30 days
Use the 2 minute principle and do whatever that habit you’re trying to create every day for two mins minimum. Put on your running shoes and jog outside for 100m, or just put on your gym clothes. Get out of your chair and do 10 pushups. Read one page of a book every day. Open your notepad and write one sentence. The simple act of showing up every day, even if it’s almost negligible, breaks the initial psychological barrier of effort while simultaneously reinforcing the action as part of your identity.
5) Reward yourself
After you do your desired habit, do something that you enjoy. Listen to music, drink coffee, have a snack. Your brain will form the association of doing the activity and getting the reward. It becomes something your brain automatically looks forward to. It can even be the sensation of accomplishment after the activity, so relish it in for a while.
6) If you stumble, just restart
Don’t plan to fail. But if you do, have a contingency plan. Acknowledge that you have missed a day (or a few), don’t beat yourself up about it, and start small again. Just do the tiny bit that is almost effortless.
Other insights on habits
You are what you do
The key to make it stick is to make it part of your identity. You go to the gym because you are a person that’s into fitness. You read because you are an intellectually curious person. The act of practicing your habit helps to reinforce it as part of your identity. The stronger you associate with that identity, the more likely you will naturally do those actions. This is why doing it consistently is key.
1% growth and compounding
All you need to do is improve 1% every day. The initial effects always feel invisible, but it compounds overtime to cause remarkable changes in your life in the long run. Do a collection of habits with 1% daily benefits, and you improve yourself exponentially over the year.
**Bad habits
**If you want to get rid of bad habits, reverse the process. Hide all your triggers and make the action difficult.
Much of this post is inspired by Atomic Habits (James Clear) and I highly recommend his blog. But beware of information paralysis. Don’t overthink strategies at the expense of action. if this is sufficient to get you started, then go along with it.
Embracing discipline There’s this quote I read years ago and I still keep it in my mind when feel lazy about going to the gym. Pain of discipline or pain of regret. That’s all there is to it.
There’s a part of your brain, the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, that literally makes you do the harder thing and plan long term. Activate it more often and it becomes easier to activate again. Don’t use it, and it becomes weaker. I’m sure you’ve noticed certain older people remaining sharp and active even in their 80s, whereas some older people face rapidly deteriorating cognitive ability, stumbling over words and forgetting things easily. Those that maintain their intellect are referred to as superagers. Extensive studies have shown that they exert their willpower on a regular basis, pushing their minds to the point of discomfort, whether it’s through mentally challenging tasks such as writing or exercising. This effort literally affects the structure of the brain.
Willpower and cognitive ability is a finite resource, but it can grow. Do the hard thing. Your brain and body will thank you for it.
**Closing thoughts
**
All bad habits are easy in the short term but cause long-term pain.
All good habits are difficult in the short term but provide long-term gain.
Today, you get to decide what kind of person you want to be.